Monthly Archives: April 2006

Radiaoctive Dreams: Spare Region ‘Another War’

‘Radioactive dreams’; Spare Region ‘Another War’
by Amer Al-Hilal
Reprinted from Arab Times (24th April, 2006)

Dear President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad,

Please allow me to interrupt your latest preparations for the bizarre “Holocaust: Myth or Fact” conference and congratulate you on your active and vibrant Presidency. Iran continues on its path of enlightenment, its respect for human rights, combating terrorism, its support for freedom of speech, the Middle East Peace Process, security in the Gulf and the international arena by continuing to thumb its nose at the West and the Gulf countries by pursuing a nuclear program.

During the Kuwait invasion, Saddam “I Invaded Kuwait But All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt” Hussein torched over 700 oil wells, literally making us live through Joseph Conrad’s Darkness at Noon, local lax environmental regulations on factories and the oil industry, leading to an increase in asthmas rates and cancers.

So Mr. President, you are just speeding up the inevitable; we are now on the path of an uninhabitable Kuwait, one shrouded in cancers and innumerable deaths due to the radioactive smorgasbord – due to a potential earthquake, human error a la Three Mile Island or a smart-bomb attack – from your strategically-placed-on-the-Kuwait-border nuclear reactors.

Of course placing such reactors around Teheran or your major cities would have alarmed citizens, so they got moved to our neck of the woods (ie the Busher plant).

You were well aware that our Ministers would run to you with open arms, with their gleaming, toothy smiles, and hug you and treat you like a visionary head of state when you visited us. You knew we’d make statements “supporting peaceful nuclear work.”

We also embraced your envoys (ie. Rafsanjani) but what use will their words of reassurance be when people are getting chills and fever due to environmental radiation?

You actually went one step beyond an invasion. This won’t be seven months of torture, rapes and killing (featuring over 600 POWs missing); rather Kuwait will be uninhabitable, not for one month, or seven months or three years, but for decades. It’s genius. You will actually manage to do something Saddam never dreamed of: create a ghost town – fueled by alarming cancer rates and innumerable deaths – where human life is worthless and billions in revenue whether earned (oil) or spent (infrastructure, investments) will be worthless. The history, heritage and land of a country will be erased, not in name but in reality. Who would want to live here under those conditions? Mr President if you don’t believe me, I’ll try to make this easier for you: watch Stanley Kramer’s 1959 motion picture ‘On The Beach’ (you can order it from Amazon.com). Listen to Fred Astaire’s monologue.

Oh, I just realized that you – as a former American hostage-taker during the Iranian revolution – are probably not “cool” with the idea of watching Western films, unless they are ‘Wag The Dog’ or ‘Fahrenheit 911.’ Take the Russian deal. And spare the region another war. Kuwait is tired of being in the eye of the storm every decade. We’ve had enough. Otherwise its welcome to Radioactive Dreams, Mr. President. And that will be all due to your sheer genius and respect for human life.

Back From Dubai

You may have noticed a lack of fresh articles and features on Hilaliya.

Guilty as charged. I am on my way back from a business trip to Dubai.

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Last time I was in Dubai was in 1992; of course it’s a complete different beast now. Quite simply, it is an amazing desert metropolis built on magnificent infrastructure and thriving due to its embrace of economic liberalization, strong laws, tourism. They are constantly raising the benchmark here: hotels, resorts, malls, entertainment facilities, and so forth, topped off with the quality control, sound planning and excellent customer service.

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I love the fact that – unlike Kuwait where people are fixated on politics and officials – people here focus on the economy, making money, building something, while attempting to offer the best products and services to the public that money can buy.

Following the bureaucracy, narrow-mindedness and corruption prevalent in most facets of Kuwaiti society, it is so refreshing to visit an Arab country where the roots of bigotry, extremism and fatalism are ripped from the ground before being allowed to taint society.

‘Business Bay’ Project

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The last week has been very hectic, an assortment of meetings and work-related activities. Stay tuned though, much more stuff coming your way including a controversial, hard-hitting article I penned for the Arab Times concerning Iran’s uranium enrichment program and the environmental danger it poses to Kuwait.

U.S.A. National Day Bash

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I just returned from the U.S.A. National Day bash at the American Embassy. It was marvelous fun, a great mix of people from all walks of life in Kuwait, with delectable food represented by major companies and the very talented New Orleans All-Star Brass Band. The theme of the night: Celebrating the Spirit of New Orleans.

As I walked into the grounds of the American Embassy I was given a straw hat, some beads and an illuminated shoulder pin in order to get into the Mardi gras spirit!

I saw many business acquaintances and old friends; including a former boss that I worked for a while back (it was great seeing him again, it certainly brought back good memories). I also got a chance to touch base with some Foreign Service officers that I had not seen in a while as well as some American military personnel serving here.

I don’t usually eat at official functions although the food stands and platters looked appetizing and everyone seemed to be having a great time.

U.S. Ambassador, Richard LeBaron and his staff were very patient and friendly doing the social rounds and guests were offered a chance to take a picture with Ambassador LeBaron if they so desired.

All in all, it was an enjoyable and classy night; a fitting tribute to the United States and the State of New Orleans, who were devastated by the hurricane Katrina last year.

Kuwait Intellectual Copyright Laws

If I were Disney/Pixar I’d have sued. Not just for this.

But for ALADDIN, LITTLE MERMAID, THE LION KING and all the other Kuwaiti Disney ripoffs we’ve seen here throughout the years.

Expect the Kuwaiti children’s theatre version of Pixar’s CARS next year, played by rotund, bearded men in skimpy latex outfits with cardboard dashboards on their heads.